The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
