You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Randomize
