you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
