this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
