Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize