There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
When are your genitals available?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
dude. I can hear the air.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
