what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize