I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
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