I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
