We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
