You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
