i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
