dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
