i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize