After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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