I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
