Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
