nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Randomize
