It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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