I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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