Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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