Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
