wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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