I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
