I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
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