I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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