I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
