Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
