if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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