Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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