So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
