This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
