I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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