omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
