i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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