He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
