Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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