Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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