I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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