Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
