He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
