If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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