There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
it's like heaven, but drunker
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
