I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
