i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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