i just google imaged poop.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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