I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
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