youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize