I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
