Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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