told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
How does one acquire holy water?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
