Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
