one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
