My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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